The Art of Connection

Ephesians 4:2-3, 6 TPT

With tender humility and quiet patience, always demonstrate gentleness and generous love toward one another, especially toward those who may try your patience. Be faithful to guard the sweet harmony of the Holy Spirit among you in the bonds of peace, And He is the perfect Father who leads us all, works through us all, and lives in us all!”

Philippians 2:1-4 NLT

“Is there any encouragement from belonging to Christ? Any comfort from His love? Any fellowship together in the Spirit? Are your hearts tender and compassionate? Then make me truly happy by agreeing wholeheartedly with each other, loving one another, and working together with one mind and purpose. Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.”

Galatians 5:13-15 TPT

“Beloved ones, God has called us to live a life of freedom. But don’t view this wonderful freedom as an excuse to set up a base of operations in the natural realm. Constantly love each other and be committed to serve one another. For all the law can be summarized in one grand statement: “Demonstrate love to your neighbor, even as you care for and love yourself.” But if you continue to criticize and come against each other over minor issues, you’re acting like wild beasts trying to destroy one another!”

John 13:34-35

“A new commandment I give you that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.  

1. Vulnerability...

We know that fear is the enemy of love, and it keeps us from entering into true vulnerability with one another. In most conflicts there is fear, and in fear you will find a lie.

2. Seeking to Understand

When we respond in the way of seeking to understand instead of reacting out of our fears and offense, we create space for the other person to be heard, which in turn begins to break down our defensive walls that come up in the midst of conflict.

Conflict is something that has to happen in a marriage relationship. Our ability to navigate through conflict as spouses creates a beautiful trust between us. When we both know that we can be different and that our differences don’t break us apart, conflict actually creates a safe space for us to explore one another. 

Explain your anger instead of expressing it, and you’ll find solutions instead of arguments.

3. Forgiveness

Forgiveness looks like humbly and honestly owning up to my role, my behavior and my communication in a moment. It looks like a true and honest apology that isn’t withholding or vague. It’s the honesty of saying “I was wrong and i am sorry” without employing blame. It’s the vulnerability of asking “would you be willing to forgive me” without entitlement or control. 

Colossians 3:12-14 AMP

So, as God’s own chosen people, who are holy [set apart, sanctified for His purpose] and well-beloved [by God Himself], put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience [which has the power to endure whatever injustice or unpleasantness comes, with good temper]; bearing graciously with one another, and willingly forgiving each other if one has a cause for complaint against another; just as the Lord has forgiven you, so should you forgive. Beyond all these things put on and wrap yourselves in [unselfish] love, which is the perfect bond of unity [for everything is bound together in agreement when each one seeks the best for others].”

1 Corinthians 13:1-8 AMP

“If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love [for others growing out of God’s love for me], then I have become only a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal [just an annoying distraction]. And if I have the gift of prophecy [and speak a new message from God to the people], and understand all mysteries, and [possess] all knowledge; and if I have all [sufficient] faith so that I can remove mountains, but do not have love [reaching out to others], I am nothing. If I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it does me no good at all. Love endures with patience and serenity, love is kind and thoughtful, and is not jealous or envious; love does not brag and is not proud or arrogant. It is not rude; it is not self-seeking, it is not provoked [nor overly sensitive and easily angered]; it does not take into account a wrong endured. It does not rejoice at injustice, but rejoices with the truth [when right and truth prevail]. Love bears all things [regardless of what comes], believes all things [looking for the best in each one], hopes all things [remaining steadfast during difficult times], endures all things [without weakening]. Love never fails [it never fades nor ends].