Woman: God's Design

by Pastor Quinton Self

When a man forgets who he is called to be, he will inadvertently begin to live from a false identity that is given to him by the influences that surround him.

Many women embark on a search for the 'real me' only to be deceived or frustrated as they attempt to become whatever is the present-day image of a woman.  Outwardly conforming, yet inwardly rebelling, they one day discover that deep inside they are not the person they have accidentally become.

Others are afraid to admit what they really desire to become.  They hesitate to talk about what they believe is their real potential.  Repression seems easier to deal with than rejection.

Some women have learned to seek and receive roses, dinners, and diamonds - yet they never have the stability, security, satisfaction of identity, or real love they truly desire.  A great number of women have given their lives over to men, wanting to live through husbands and boyfriends - only to be disappointed in the men, and as a result, in themselves.


Belittling the other gender to lift up our own has never and will never enable us to know and walk in our design/role more effectively.

What are some of the things that bring confusion to a woman's design?

  1. Entertainment Industry
  2. Feminist Groups
  3. Parents
  4. Church

"Sadly, Christianity has missed her heart as well.  Walk into most churches in America, have a look around, and ask yourself this question:  What is a Christian woman?  Again, don't listen to what is said, look at what you find there.  There is no doubt about it.  You'd have to admit a Christian woman is...tired.  All we've offered the feminine soul is pressure to 'be a good servant.'  No one is fighting for her heart; there is no grand adventure to be swept up in; and every woman doubts very much that she has any beauty to unveil." 
– John Eldredge

Hosea 4:6, "My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge..."

Originally Adam was...

  • masculine and feminine
  • disciplinarian and nurturer
  • tough and tender

Eve became...

  • feminine
  • nurturing
  • tender     

Adam was left with...

  • masculinity
  • disciplinarian
  • tough

Psalm 62:11-12, "One thing God has spoken, two things have I heard:  that you, O God, are strong, and that you, O Lord, are loving."

Genesis 2:24, "For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become ONE [complete]."

Genesis 2:18, Then God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a HELPER suitable to him."

The core desires of every man...

  1. A battle to fight
  2. An adventure to live
  3. A beauty to rescue 

The core desires of every woman...

  1. To be fought for
  2. An adventure to share
  3. A beauty to unveil

1.  To be fought for

Ephesians 5:25, Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her.

Song of Solomon 1:1-11, This is Solomon's Song of Songs, more wonderful than any other. [young woman] 2 Kiss me and kiss me again, for your love is sweeter than wine.  3 How pleasing is your fragrance; your name is like the spreading fragrance of scented oils.  No wonder all the young woman love you! 4 Take me with you; come, let's run!  The king has brought me into his bedroom.

8-11, [young man] If you don't know, O most beautiful woman... 9 You are as exciting, my darling, as a mare among Pharaoh's stallions. 10 How lovely are your cheeks; your earrings set them afire! How lovely is your neck, enhanced by a string of jewels. 11 We will make for you earrings of gold and beads of silver. 

2.  An adventure to share

Song of Solomon 2:8-13, [the woman] Ah, I hear my lover coming!  He is leaping over the mountains, bounding over the hills. 9 My lover is like a swift gazelle or a young stag.  Look, there he is behind the wall, looking through the window, peering into the room. 10 My lover said to me, "Rise up, my darling!  Come away with me, my fair one! 11 Look, the winter is past, and the rains are over and gone. 12 The flowers are springing up, the season of singing birds has come, and the cooing of turtledoves fills the air. 13 The fig tree are forming young fruit, and the fragrant grapevines are blossoming.  Rise up, my darling!  Come away with me, my fair one!" 

3.  A beauty to unveil

Psalm 27:4, "One thing I ask of the Lord, this is what I seek:  that I may...gaze upon the beauty of the Lord."

Song of Solomon 4:9-11, [young man] You have captured my heart, my treasure, my bride.  You hold it hostage with one glance of you Reyes, with a single jewel of your necklace. 10 Your love delights me, my treasure, my bride.  Your love is better than wine, your perfume more fragrant than spices. 11 Your lips are as sweet as nectar, my bride.  Honey and milk are under your tongue.  Your clothes are scented like the cedars of Lebanon. 

Terri Smith