As It Depends On You, Part 1

The Bible is mostly about two subjects:

  1. Our relationship with God
  2. Our relationship with people

Matthew 22:37-39 [NKJV], "'You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.' 38 This is the first and great commandment. 39 And the second is like it:  'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.'"

It is impossible to be right with God when we are intentionally wrong with others.

Romans 12:9-18 [NLT], Don't just pretend to love others.  Really love them. Hate what is wrong.  Hold tightly to what is good. 10 Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other. 11 Never be lazy, but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically. 12 Rejoice in our confident hope.  Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying. 13 When God's people are in need, be ready to help them. Always be eager to practice hospitality. 14 Bless those who persecute you. Don't curse them; pray that God will bless them. 15 Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep. 16 Live in harmony with each other.  Don't be too proud to enjoy the company of ordinary people. And don't think you know it all! 17 Never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable. 18 Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone.

Romans 12:18 [AMP], If possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.



Conflict is "a mental struggle or disagreement that happens as a result of two people having incompatible/opposing ideas, needs, wants, interests or expectations."

What will we do when we encounter conflict?

Why do we struggle with conflict so much?  

  1. It makes us uncomfortable
  2. It makes us feel out of control
  3. Potential for not being heard
  4. Not sure how to express the way we feel
  5. Unsure if the other person cares
  6. Unsure if it will honor God

How do we work through conflict in a healthy way?

Matthew 5:9 [NLT], God blesses those who work for peace, for they will be called the children of God.


Eight steps to navigating conflict:

1.  Search your heart
Matthew 7:3-5 [NLT], "And why worry about a speck in your friend's [spouse's, kid's, co-worker's, bosses'] eye when you have a log in your own? 4 How can you think of saying to your friend, 'Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,' when you can't see past the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend's eye."

2.  Don't be afraid

3.  Go directly to them
Matthew 18:15 [NIV]
, "If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you.  If he listens to you, you have won your brother over."

4.  Focus on the real issue
James 5:16 [NLT]
, Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.  The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.  

5.  Don't overreact
1 Peter 4:8 [NLT]
, Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins.

James 1:19-20, You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. 20 Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires.

6.  Watch your tone
Proverbs 15:1 [NKJV]
, A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

Colossians 4:6 [NLT], Let your conversation be gracious and attractive so that you will have the right response for everyone.

7.  Extend grace
Colossians 3:13 [NLT]
, Make allowance for each other's faults, and forgive anyone who offends you.  Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.

8.  Propose a Solution
"The Holy Spirit inside of me will never disagree with the Holy Spirit inside of you."

What should we do when we are confronted?
Romans 12:18 [AMP], If possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.  

Terri Smith