The Power of Words
Mark 3:20-27 (NLT) Then Jesus entered a house, and again a crowd gathered, so that He and His disciples were not even able to eat. 21 When His family heard about this, they went to take charge of Him, for they said, “He is out of his mind.” 22 And the teacher of the law who came down from Jerusalem said, “He is possessed by Beelzebul! By the prince of demons He is driving out demons.” 23 So Jesus called them over to Him and began to speak to them in parables: “How can Satan drive out Satan? 24 If a kingdom is divided against itself, that kingdom cannot stand. 25 If a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand. 26 And if Satan opposes himself and is divided, he cannot stand; his end has come. 27 In fact, no one can enter a strong man’s house without first tying him up. Then he can plunder the strong man’s house.
Mark 3:25 (NLT) If a house [family] is divided against itself, that house [family] cannot stand.
Three common areas…
1. Finances
2. Intimacy
3. Communication
When we first met, we were…
Interested in hearing each other’s stories
Curious to discover each other’s likes and dislikes
Interested in meeting each other’s needs
Highly motivated to make a good impression
Eager to show our ability to be fun (smart, pleasant)
Doing our best to show that we cared
In awe of one another’s strengths
We got married, because we enjoyed what happened during our courtship so much, we wanted it to continue for the rest of our lives.
Over time, our emotional need for conversation didn’t diminish, but our desire to have it with our spouse did. When this happens, we exchange our past conversations that were filled with affection and admiration for unhealthy patterns of communication.
What happened? The daily routine of life has caused us to start taking one another for granted. And now we’ve given ourselves permission to say and do anything we’d like.
Isn’t it amazing how we can tell ourselves that our marriage would be more enjoyable if our spouse would just conform to our ideas of what a good husband or wife should be?
One of the ways, a man tries to “help” his wife is by complaining and criticizing her.
In those moments, what she actually hears is your “lack of acceptance.”
Galatians 5:15 (NLT) But if you are always biting and devouring one another, watch out! Beware of destroying one another.
One of the ways, a woman tries to “help” her husband is by nagging him.
Proverbs 27:15-16 (TLB) A constant dripping on a rainy day and a cranky woman are much alike! 16 You can no more stop her complaints than you can stop the wind or hold onto anything with greasy hands.
What do our words to our spouse reveal about us?
Luke 6:45 (NIV) A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.
“A cup brimful of sweetness cannot spill even one drop of bitter water, no matter how suddenly jarred.” —Amy Carmichael
“Our communication problems are essentially…heart problems.”
What is God’s solution to our communication problem?
How many of us have hoarded our thoughts of admiration, approval and love from our spouse?
“If you want a man to keep loving you, you only have to do one thing — appreciate him and let him know you do.” —Ruth Peale
Instead of using our energy to criticize and nag when our spouse does something we don’t like. Let’s use our influence to comment favorably when they say or do something we approve of.
Proverbs 16:24 (ESV) Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.
Romans 15:7 (NIV) Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.
Ephesians 4:32 (NLT) Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.
Ephesians 4:29, NLT Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.
1 Thessalonians 5:11 (NLT) So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.